Oh Juice!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Why do we choose to get hurt? Why do we always fall for the ones which are absolutely not right for us? Why does this kind of thing (I won't call it love since I don't think of it that way YET) always end up hurting us and leave us feeling alone..While the ones who care for us and really love us, that's how they are feeling, the way we are.

Things are very chaotic in my life right now when you look at it at this aspect. What do you get when you fall for someone who's not right for you after all? What's worse is that you think that you DO feel something for him but at the end you're just not sure? You've both done things that make each other happy, have fun and feeling content with that person but you get a knock on the head at the end of the day thinking, "Why can't it just be right to be friends?" "Why does it feel so wrong to be just having fun w/out having a serious or a somewhat relationship?" It might be weird, but this is the very first time I'm experiencing this. Usually when I'm having a great time with a guy and things go really well for us I can already expect what to happen next, whether to become or not to become friends (meaning to pursue a further relationship). But why with this certain person I just can't tell? When I think that, "Oh, let's just be friends. I guess it's better off that way." Then I get that crazy feeling in my mind from my heart, "WHAAAATTT?". And it's just so weird.

This situation is one-sided too. We both totally have different minds and we both can't read them at all. I guess that's what makes it challenging for me, coz I'm so dying to find out what's on his mind. We forget about ourselves when we're together and I can't think of anything except what's going on but after that I get the weirdest feeling. A mind full of questions, a rack in my brain full of question marks. It's crazy, and frankly, as much as feeling this way isn't boring, it still doesn't feel nice.

This is the first time after so long that I'm feeling this way again.

♥ Justine
8:44 PM