Oh Juice!

Dear Dear First Love... (Part II)
Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Remember Josh? I know how it feels. I'm not saying I'm still in love with you or have the least bit feelings for you, but what I'm saying is that, we COULD have had something you know? Something really great. Even before the song Til They Take My Heart Away became mainstream I sang it for you with my guitar, recorded it on a tape together with Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman's Someday We'll Know and you said you kept on listening to it because I had the nicest voice. You told me you could just listen to it again and again while staring at the ceiling and thinking about us. Yes, I actually recall the things that you tell me, because I know they're real, you just never really work hard for it. All you want is the thrill of trying to get me, after that, it's all stale.

My line: So many questions, I need an answer. Two years later you're still on my mind..

Our line: Someday we'll know, why I wasn't meant for you..

Your line: If I could ask God just one question, WHY AREN'T YOU HERE WITH ME TONIGHT?

It sounds corny now, but that's the way we used to be. When 9th Grade began, we grew even more further apart, just the occasional hi's and hello's, the rare calls and the 3 minute awkward chats. I guess we were getting mature. Mature in a sense that we knew it was never gonna work out anymore. The third strike came, after all. But you know what? I still saw that look in your eyes, I always noticed it, even for just a second. Now I'm not gonna talk about your girls, because I have nothing to do with them, and you had nothing to do with my share of guys as well. 10th Grade was my last year, not much happened. Except you told me to make you a CD with the condition that the first song would be Incubus' I Miss You. Right then and there I felt, shit Josh, it's still there, it's unavoidable. But we couldn't do anything about it anymore right?

We didn't have a proper goodbye when I left, nothing (probably coz I had a serious relationship with someone else that time). Maybe that's why I'm still so hung up with our story, because we never had closure. We never talked about it. The what-coud-have-beens are still there. But I just wanna tell you that even though I have no more of those feelings, like they say, first love never dies (hahaha Plue). There are still soooo many more memories I wanna recall, but it's gonna be as big as the buffalo that's between us right now. The gap is just too far that I don't think I can still reach you anymore. We totally lead different lives. And I guess that's all there is to it...

Justine

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Well that's the end of it. Sorry for making it soo long I really couldnt help it. Hahaha..

Oh oh oh, I wanna credit and give a shoutout to Jigs for naming me a smiley in his blog. Thanks Jigs! Visit his site and comment okay? And don't forget to include this in his tagboard :juiceee:.

♥ Justine
9:23 PM