Tuesday, June 20, 2006
How do I begin? It's been a year or so since we last had a conversation. We saw each other a month ago, but that was it. I even greeted you a day before your birthday, but that was it. I don't know why the hell I call you my first love. Everything we had was plain WEIRD. 3rd Grade, you still gave me cooties (lol), I remember we had to write "I will not play with grasshoppers anymore" 100 times on a sheet of paper because you brought me grasshoppers and we would take out their wings and tease other students so that they'd be scared. You were just a playmate then, just a plain seatmate I had in class. 2 years later, at 5th Grade, when trying to be cool was all that mattered, I remembered you were the one who introduced me to Korn and Limp Bizkit. I then listened to the same type of music as you did. Again, we were seatmates, and would always talk about music, the likes and arguing whether who was cooler. Britney Spears or Fred Durst.
I didn't like you then, you were just a friend. Until one day when we were all talking about crushes and I asked you who yours was. You froze, but tried to act cool and said, "Give me a piece of paper, I'll write it down" so I gave you a random paper with my name on it. 5 minutes later, when I opened the paper, it was still empty, except with my written name but then, I saw this teeny-weeny sized ARROW directing to it. Remember that? The memory is still fresh in my mind as if it was still yesterday. I'm not sure what happened after that but you became my boyfriend, my very first boyfriend at 5th Grade. Truth or Dares were so popular at that time. You took me to the girls toilet back in the gym to give me that 5-second kiss on the lips (my first kiss) and believe it or not, that was only how far we went. Months later, when you just came from a 2 week vacation you came up to me and ask me, "So, are you still my girlfriend?" "Umm, no" I said. I don't know what came into my mind that time, but what I know, that answer changed my life.
We didn't talk anymore, our relationships would just be on and off, I suddenly missed our jokes and laughs and the way you would always tease me in class. 6th Grade finally the teases came back, we danced in front of the whole school and I would still chase you all over the corridor for teasing me and that would last for hours. This is getting long, because EACH DAMN year we had a story. These memories never faded away. 7th Grade I remembered we went to Tania's farewell party in her house and while everyone was playing Spin the Bottle, we just spent the time talking and lying down in her bed. 7th Grade was also the time we had that 5 hour talk on the phone and you confessed that deep inside you still had feelings for me. You became my boyfriend again for the 2nd time but then, 16 hours later (yes I remembered how many hours, JOSH) you sent me a text saying you met this girl at the mall (WTF JOSH?!?!). I was devastated of course, I spent 30 minutes crying in the shower for a 16-houred stupid relationship.
We didn't talk anymore after that, 8 months of silence and walking around corridors as if we didn't know each other. You had a new girlfriend then months later, I had mine. We lived our own lives until we became close again one day in 8th Grade when you would play guitar and I would sing along. I had a boyfriend that time, and you called me again to tell me you still had that same feelings for me the same way you did back in 5th Grade. I believed you, because I did to. I remember breaking up with my boyfriend of 6 months at that time and a week later, we were together again. I remember that was soo sweet coz our of nowhere you dropped by my best friend's house where I was at and you asked me out of the blue. I was even so surprised when your my name on your phone was already "HUNNYBUNNY" without me even knowing it. Our 3rd relationship. SIX DAYS LATER, I broke it off with you because I thought it wasn't working out. Why does our relationship always go haywire once we have a status? I always thought about that. We didn't talk for a month after that then one day when Tubz and Ir were planning to stop by the beach after school you went with us (surprisingly) and that's when I had my first REAL memory with you. Walking around the beach looking stupid in our uniforms, eating McDonald's and not having a care in the world..
This is us Josh, remember? Taken in your classroom where we would always hang out, listen to music, play cards during recess and hours after classes finished?
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I just realized that this letter was getting too long so thanks to Jhed, there's gonna be another part of it, probably a shorter version of this one.
I am Justine and this used to be juiceee.blogspot.com / I now have my own domain (e-mail me at ohjazzy@gmail.com to find out), I'm just keeping this for the sake of memories. Feel free to look around if you must! 
